sparkling letters infront of a love heart that say I believe in me

Take Control Of Your Confidence With These Affirmations For Self Esteem

Beliefs are stored memory from the past; an affirmation is a live active use of your nervous system which can impact your beliefs and view of yourself immediately upon doing them.

I used to miss out on opportunities for people I liked that turned out to also have a romantic interest in me and waste time trying to get the approval of others due to a lack of self esteem.

I then discovered the power behind how to use affirmations effectively which I’m going to share in this article and specifically for self esteem as well as how our rules can make it difficult to have high self esteem.

How understanding your rules will make it easier to raise your self esteem

outline of woman looking at face of herself but with affirmations

We all no matter how scary, tough or intimidating someone appears to be have the fear of not being good enough or feeling less than which at the root is feeling not good enough to be loved.

Because from a young age not being loved equals death which is the source of feeling of inadequacy.

If you want to learn more about how having difficult to meet rules maybe the cause for low self esteem continue reading. If you’d rather skip straight to the affirmations click on affirmations for creating lasting self esteem in the table below.

Discovered by Tony Robbins all human behaviour is to meet our six needs which are: 

6 human needs table
6 human needs table mobile

To give a brief description of them here:

Certainty: We all have the need to avoid pain and to gain pleasure, to feel certain that we’re safe or that can be described as comfortable or in control it’s a survival instinct.

Without having enough certainty people will fill fearful or out of control.
Examples of meeting our need for certainty can include eating, planning to feel reassured of an outcome or feeling guided by a greater intelligence.

Uncertainty/Variety: Being to certain leads us to becoming bored because it violates our second need for uncertainty/variety. We need variety or unique stimuli to keep things fresh and exciting.

Examples of meeting our need for variety include watching different films, doing a variety of tasks in our work and anything that changes our state such as alcohol.

Significance: We all have a need to feel significant which can also be described as unique or special.

Examples of meeting our need for significance can be creating successful corporations, winning a gold medal or having a bigger problem than everyone else.

If we feel so significant, so unique and special it can violate our fourth need to be able to connect with people which is..

Love and connection: We all have the need feel like we’re connecting with others and to feel loved.

Examples of how we can feel love and connection are by feeling connected in a group, intimate connections or performing well in a team.

Growth: No matter how much someone has achieved in their life if someone doesn’t feel like they’re growing they will feel unfulfilled and like they’re dying inside.

By growing you will feel alive with a sense of purpose. But the reason we fundamentally grow is to meet our need for...

Contribution: We all have a need to contribute beyond ourselves. This is when we experience true joy and fulfilment. Happiness and excitement only lasts temporarily.

Such as achieving a reward or promotion, but lasting fulfilment comes through contributing to others.

If you want to know more about the six human needs and how all of our behaviour in is to meet them in more detail I recommend reading 6 Human Needs Made Simple To Take Empowering Action.

Do you have realistic rules to feel good enough?

Before going straight into the affirmations it’s worth becoming more aware of your rules for allowing yourself to increase or lower your self esteem.

It isn’t what people do or say that will give you feelings of significance or inadequacy. It’s the rules that we have with what has to happen to feel a given experience.

Following on from the 6 needs mentioned previously even though we have the same six needs we all have different rules behind what has to happen in order for us to experience/meet them.


Someone may feel significant by tearing others down whilst another has to make others feel empowered before they feel like they deserve to feel significant.

Ask yourself and write down how do you currently meet your need for significance, what do you currently do to make yourself feel either special or unique.

This will help you have a better understanding of the rules for what has to happen in order to feel significant.

The three choices we have with having a low self esteem

Feelings of low self esteem or inadequacy are basically other ways of saying insignificant which us with three choices which of what we can do with the feeling which are:

1) We accept the feeling and do nothing with it which never makes the feeling go away.

2) We fit the criteria/rules we have or improve in a certain area to feel significant.


You may have a low sense of self esteem because the rules you have are that you require a different body shape to feel significant.

3) Change the rules you have for what has to happen in order to feel adequate/significant in that area that’s causing feelings of low self esteem/insignificant.


Someone may have a low self esteem because of having a lack of knowledge in a certain area but then change their rules.

In order to have a sense of high self esteem/significance to as long as they are trying hard they feel significant within themselves or by knowing they are knowledgeable in other areas.

The power of affirmations for improving self esteem

A belief is a stored memory that gives a feeling of certainty that something is real or true.

What controls how we feel in any given moment even more powerfully than beliefs is the state that we’re in.

By state I mean how we feel moment to moment, affirmations are a live use of our nervous system that can create new beliefs and change how we feel in that moment.

With enough repetition and emotional intensity an affirmation will become a belief and way of thinking and feeling that is automatic. Including changing the criteria/rules we have that has to happen in order to feel significant.

If you want to know more about the power of affirmations and how to get the most of them from changing your state I recommend reading Morning Affirmations That Set You Free From Limiting Beliefs By Using 3 Simple Steps.

Affirmations for creating lasting self esteem

affirmations for self esteem

Now equipped with a deeper understanding of that in order to have a high self esteem you need to either improve in a certain area or areas or to change your rules for what has to happen in order to feel significant.

The following are affirmations that you can use to drive in your nervous system and create new beliefs that will change your rules and view of yourself to create a higher sense of self esteem.

Affirmations for self esteem

1. “All I need is within me now!”

2. “ I love and respect myself!”

3. “I’m amazing and deserve love!”

4. “I appreciate my unique qualities!”

5. “Loving myself comes first before seeking it from others!”

6. “I’m extremely confident and outgoing!”

7. “I can’t fail as I learn a new way that didn’t work so I’m closer to finding an alternative that works!”

8. “I am self reliant and independent!”

9. “I attract positive circumstances and experiences!”

10. “If challenging circumstances occur I have the strength to handle them!”

11. “I attract beautiful X (x representing what sex/s you’re into)"

12. “I deserve great friends and an ideal romantic relationship/s!”

13. “I’m full of self confident and believe in my abilities!”

14. “I take care of and appreciate my body!”

15. “I’m continuously growing and aligning with my true life’s purpose!”

16. “I’m great at what I do!”

17.I’m continuously improving!”

18. “Every day in every way I’m getting stronger and stronger!”

19. “Every day in every way I’m feeling more and even more confident!”

20. “I respect and care for my own needs!”

21. “I value my own views and opinions!”

22. “I am positive and passionate with an optimistic view on life!”

23. “I fully accept my flaws and only work on them if I want to from a place of love and joy!”

24. “My services are required and perceived as high value!”

25. “I live an inspired life that inspires others!”


- Beliefs are stored memory from the past; an affirmation is a live active use of your nervous system which can impact your beliefs and view of yourself immediately upon doing them.

- We all have the same fear of not feeling good enough to be loved.

- We all have the same six needs the difference being what rules we have in place in order to meet them.

By having difficult rules to meet it can make it very difficult to feel good enough or have a high self esteem.

- Using affirmations can help you create new beliefs and rules to what will cause you to have a high self esteem.

If you want to know how to know about the importance of self esteem around manifesting the life you want I recommend reading Manifesting The Ultimate Practical Guide.

I would love to hear the greatest insight or affirmation that you have taken and going to apply.

Let me know in the comments below.